It took a while, but I finally got Beej to calm down, having him breath heavily into a paper bag. I was going to stuff it with dog turds and light it on fire later, but luckily I hadn’t loaded it yet.

I spend my morning in the usual way, partially lost in the numb rut of repetition. Get dressed, check. Brush my teeth, check. Stretch and do a few karate drills, check. By the time I was ready to eat breakfast and make some tea, the numb feeling was going away, being replaced once again by the anxieties of the day.

If you would have told me just a few days ago that life in Villa park as I knew it would end, and that it would be caused by Nazi mutants gone wild, well, I would have believed you. Quite frankly, that’s always how I envisioned it happening.

The next few days of summer were as wild as expected, as the case became a real media circus. Lizzy and I stuck to prong seven and let Jimmy do all the talking, which was very hard to do at times, especially those times when he was still insisting that there was some kind of mutant experimentation going on.

I watched Jimmy scream in horror about us being too late as he opened up the second closed crate that we had come across. This one, luckily, didn’t seem to contain any rabid dogs. Which is why I was confused as to why Jimmy was having such a strong reaction to this one, as the only thing he pulled out of it was a small Travancore tortoise that he held it up over his head.

It took every bit of strength and patience I had, but I kept my angry words in check, just like dad had taught me. I tried to give Jimmy my death glare instead, but the knotted strands of ratty blonde hair kept on falling in my face, ruining the effect. I’ll bet that was somehow part of his plan too, I wouldn’t put it past him.

I found myself in an all too familiar position: as the leader. Once again, I was bravely leading the way, heading the charge, driving the team expertly towards the shelter. Like the alpha dog, the leader of the wolf pack, the front goose in the V-shape, I cut a quick and concise path ever towards our ultimate destination.